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fabulous, wonderful speech

 The best I've ever heard.  Amazing.  I am in love with Dennis Lehane...


Love it!!!

Valentine's Day: love it or hate it?

Your result for The Elemental Beauty Test...

Alluring Beauty

33% Fire, 25% Earth, 25% Air, and 17% Water

You scored 33% Fire! Brilliant!

The Fire element says that you have an alluring beauty. You are very spicy and sexually minded. Fire signs include Aries, Leo, and Saggitarrius. Like these signs a fire element in a beauty test would indicate that you have a very original style. You enjoy attention and will do what it takes to get it. You aren't afraid of bright colors or of showing off some skin. I say go for it!

Your inner personality shows that you have an attractive and alluring side as well. You know how to push and pull to ensure that things get done, which takes some people skills. You don't take things for granted and you don't take someone's word for anything - you like the experience of discovery.

You aren't afraid of a little trouble. You know how to turn on the charm and turn off the fire alarms.

You also scored:

25% Earth: Earth is the natural beauty. They tend to stick to classic styles and colors. They tend to be more grounded. 0% Earth may indicate that plain old common sense is not your strong suit. Scores that show even ratios between Earth and Fire show a person with the potential to be powerfully creative. Fire provides the action and Earth provides the tangible results.

25% Air: Air is the fearless beauty. They are offbeat and funny. The mix old fashions with new and love to make new trends. They aren't afraid to be new or crazy. 0% Air could indicate that you have trouble looking at things objectively. Scores that show an even distribution between Fire and Air indicate a person that is a postive thinker, have aspirations, and are idealistic.

17% Water: Water is the etheral beauty. They like things that drape and shimmer. The love vintage and heirlooms; things with emotional ties and history. 0% Water may mean that you don't trust or use your intuition. Even percentages with Fire and Water would indicate someone that is rather impulsive and shows a great deal of emotion.

She lies waiting

She is asleep most of the time. Curled up, she dreamily listens to the sounds of the water as it splashes softly against the rotting boat that is tied to her overgrown little island. Splish, splash. It’s been so long, she has lost track of time. Sometimes, she watches a family of swans that nests on the island. There are three cygnets, opening their feathers wide with expectation to the life that lies ahead of them. She watches them and sighs. The miracle of youth, she murmurs to herself as she contemplates her own invisibility, lifelessness, transience. It has been so long that algae are growing from her fingers. Memories, flashbacks, come back to her from time to time, some painful, some nostalgic, some joyful like mirages from a distant land. Often, she dreams of a soft, cosy, warm place, and the type of transparent, enveloping warmth that can only be found in the hearts of human beings. She has not felt it for a long time.

When she was a young maiden, a long long time ago, things were different. There were lush springs, wells, and waters all around her, springing from her mouth, her breasts, from between her thighs. She was cherished and loved. People came and celebrated her, thanked her with flowers and gifts, they sang and danced and visited her often. They held her in their hearts, they celebrated the sacred waters that were so much part of their lives. The people cherished her, and in turn, she cherished the people. This continued for a very long time.

In time, the maiden grew into a mother. She wanted to help the people, to help them grow, because she saw their suffering. She loved them, and so she became always more giving, leading the people to more of her sacred spring waters, making them richer and more nourishing. The people cured many ailments from her waters, and they began to prosper. They discovered many healing wells, built big bath houses around them, developed their village into a big town, and yet still honoured her with statues, monuments and mosaics.

But something shifted. Somehow, ever so slightly, things changed. There were less flowers, less singing, less dancing. Less joy. At first, she put it down to lack of attentiveness. The people were so busy, as many visitors came to their town to experience the miraculous waters – even the Queen of England visited. Surely it was only a matter of time until they remembered again, she told herself. And she continued giving. But people paid her less and less attention. Bath house after bath house closed down, well after well disappeared, as the people decided they had more important ventures to pursue.

Without their love, she slowly turned into a crone. Her waters dried up. Still she gave, she flowed, whenever she could, ignoring the sadness and the loneliness that choked her from time to time. Eventually, when she could take it no more, she retreated to the river. She hid. And still she could not stop giving. She sank into a deep sleep.

Yet, almost unbeknown to her, from time to time, somebody remembered her. A small flower, a thought, a friendly word. It was mostly the old people who recalled her, who kept the wells, and their patroness, in their hearts. She experienced this as a gentle warm wave inside her body, a tingling soft sensation like that of a summer breeze, and the waters, of which there was only a trickle left, suddenly flowed more freely for a while.

Then one summer day, as she lay in the deep grass on her island, she heard drumming from afar. Just like in old times, she thought sleepily, maybe I am dreaming again. She scolded herself for being so sentimental, and drifted off again. But the drumming became louder and louder, and through the reeds she could make out dancers, dressed in white and orange. Suddenly, the group of people started singing and dancing in a circle. Most peculiar. They danced onto the bridge, waved flowers and started calling. They started calling… her name. ‘Goddess!’, they called, ‘where are you? Come back!’ She reared her head slowly. No, she decided, it could not be. It had been too long. But they were calling her, from the bridge.

The little elf and boatsman who kept her company sometimes tugged excitedly at her sleeve. ‘Goddess’, he pleaded, ‘there are people who want to see you!’ Only half-dressed, for he had been sleeping too, he jumped into the boat next to her, and rowed her, as fast as he could, towards the bridge. The voices of the people became louder and more consistent ‘Goddess! We remember you!’, they called. ‘What, me? They remember me? Who are they?’, she asked the elf incredulously, who rowed quicker and quicker towards the bridge. Could this be? Many people were leaning over the bridge towards her, with expressions of anticipation and wonder and joy at seeing her. They sang songs, they threw flower petals at her, they welcomed her back amidst much noise and happiness. From despondence and disbelief, her expression changed to deep emotion and joy. She slowly raised her arm, her arm that had become stiff and creaky from the long years on the river. She was no longer alone. She was no longer forgotten. They had remembered her.


OK - must buck up

Got a big talking to from Paul last night, as he came home to find me drooping and miserable in front of the computer AGAIN, having done nothing else all day except wait in for the cable guy.  At least because of the cable guy, I actually got dressed - too often he has found me in my dressing gown because, like, really what's the point?

So from now on I am to be cheerful and positive.  I WILL get a job.  We WILL survive until I do.  If we run out of money, we will just sell everything (not the cats - he was very clear on that point!) and move into a much smaller place. 

And that's all I have to say about that......

I so love this song by Dar Williams...

OK - it's the wrong season, but it just played on Pandora, and it made me cry (we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share, And you find magic from your god, and we find magic everywhere) - I'm officially menopausal...

Amber called her uncle, said we're up here for the holiday,
Jane and I were having solstice, now we need a place to stay.
And her christ-loving uncle watched his wife hang mary on a tree,
He watched his son hang candy canes all made with red dye number three.
He told his niece, it's christmas eve, I know our life is not your style,
She said, christmas is like solstice, and we miss you and it's been a while,

So the christians and the pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And just before the meal was served, hands were held and prayers were said,
Sending hope for peace on earth to all their gods and goddesses.

The food was great, the tree plugged in, the meal had gone without a hitch,
Till timmy turned to amber and said, is it true that you're a witch?
His mom jumped up and said, the pies are burning, and she hit the kitchen,
And it was jane who spoke, she said, its true, your cousin's not a christian,
but we love trees, we love the snow, the friends we have, the world we share,
And you find magic from your god, and we find magic everywhere,

So the christians and the pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning,
Cause now when christians sit with pagans only pumpkin pies are burning.

When amber tried to do the dishes, her aunt said, really, no, don't bother.
Amber's uncle saw how amber looked like tim and like her father.
He thought about his brother, how they hadn't spoken in a year,
He thought he'd call him up and say, its christmas and your daughter's here.
He thought of fathers, sons and brothers, saw his own son tug his sleeve, saying,
Can I be a pagan? dad said, we'll discuss it when they leave.

So the christians and the pagans sat together at the table,
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able,
Lighting trees in darkness, learning new ways from the old, and
Making sense of history and drawing warmth out of the cold.